Bucket Lists

I read Leo Babauta's Zen Habits post about why to not have a bucket list (or, rather, what kind of bucket list is preferable), and I began thinking about the bucket list I've shuffled around in my head for years. I'm not a particularly motivated person when it comes to fulfilling this list, and most of the items seem so far-fetched that I wouldn't be surprised if I never did them, no matter how much fun I think they would be.

Some have been crossed off the list already. Saw a Broadway musical on Broadway in 12th grade. I've seen both The Phantom of the Opera and Les Miserables on stage. I've been in a band singing lead. I won National Novel Writing Month in 2013. I've traveled long-distance on a train a few times and LOVED it. I taught in a college setting for a few months.

Some items are in the works. I got my masters degree and am just waiting to learn where Dave and I will be for residency to start my PhD and eventually teach university classes. I've also got a novel series in the works and am in the major overhaul phase of editing the first book.

Most of my list is dedicated to travel, and we're just too poor to do any of that at the moment. I've seen the Atlantic Ocean from New York City, but I've not been to Boston. I want to take a West Coast driving or train tour (which will be more fun now that we have friends in California and Oregon). I want to take Dave to Mackinac Island. Go hiking on the Appalachian Trail. See the northern lights. I want to go to England, Scotland, Ireland. France and Germany. Poland. India. Japan. Jamaica. I'd like to visit my cousins in Zambia.

I'd like to get the hell out of Texas for a while.

But what about the big ticket items like sky diving and bungee jumping? Why do those two wind up on so many lists for people who honestly are too scared to do them? They're on my list, but I am honestly more afraid of large parties than I am of jumping off a bridge if that makes any sense. More afraid of speaking in a foreign language to native speakers. So, does that rule out three quarters of my travel items? Maybe, but likely not.

I like making a bucket list because it helps me figure out my priorities. Yes, the idea of strapping a glorified rubber band to my feet and leaping over the side of a bridge makes me question my sanity. It's counter-instinctive. But my desire for flight is stronger than my fear, so I will likely do it. After a very thorough inspection of the harness and the line. I'm not stupid. And my desire to travel is stronger than my fear of fluxing up a conjugation. So making this list helps me find balances to my fears, reasons to act that are stronger than anxiety. Otherwise, I might become a slave to my fears and become a raging agoraphobic.

I know people who are determined to run a marathon (or three). I admire their tenacity and their athletic prowess. Marathons are out of my range. It's something that I just know. I hate running. Love hiking, hate running. There's no way "Run the Boston Marathon" is going to end up on my list. But those same marathon runners might feel the same about writing a novel (or three). What is NOT on the list tells as much about the person as what is.

So bucket lists can be an aid to mindfulness, a way to determine what is stronger than your fears. And a bucket list doesn't need to be filled with high adventure. It can include some of the more simple goals like watching more sunsets.

Personally, I have no crushing desire to scratch everything off my list. If I don't get to see the Taj Mahal in my lifetime, I might in the next. As long as I know I've faced down a few of my fears, I'll be satisfied.